As a parent, guardian, or mentor, there are many conversations we dread having when it comes to talking to kids, but a conversation about alcohol doesn’t have to be one of them! It’s very important to talk to the kids in your life about the use of alcohol. This is a topic that I’m passionate about and I hope you are too! This article will look at why we should talk to kids, provide some tips on how to talk to them, and provide some online resources.
Why? As parents, guardians, and mentors, we are an important influencer in the lives of kids. I know sometimes that’s hard to believe, but trust me – kids are always watching, listening, and imitating the adults in their lives. By having an open relationship with good communication, we can help the kids in our lives make better decisions. By talking to kids about the use of alcohol, we can help protect them by giving them the facts before they find themselves in a risky situation. Kids who have had conversations with a trusted adult are less likely to experiment with alcohol. They are also less likely to depend on their peers for information. By including your expectations and the hopes and dreams you have for them, you can build self-esteem while telling them the risks that using alcohol will have on their future. Keep in mind that the earlier you start having conversations with kids about substance use, the better! By age 12, 10% of kids have already tried alcohol. By age 15, it jumps to 50%. By the time kids are seniors, 70% have tried alcohol. By talking to kids early, you can help to lower those percentages.
How?
Talking to kids about important
issues like alcohol use can be daunting. Here are some tips on how to have a
successful conversation about alcohol use:
·
Start early! Kids as young as 5 can handle an age-appropriate
conversation about alcohol use. Find the teachable moments like when a
commercial involving alcohol comes on the tv, when you see products being sold
at a store you’re visiting, or when you’re at a restaurant that sells alcohol
to hold an appropriate conversation. If age appropriate, mention the dangers
and peer pressure found in social media. Also keep in mind that genetics play a
role in addictive personalities and that prevention is even more important to
those kids genetically at risk.
·
Be open and
honest. By talking about our
experiences (or even lack thereof), we build trust and respect. Tell them that
you try to be a good role model, but that no one is perfect.
·
Be consistent
and repetitive. This will help you
send a clear message about your expectations and rules when it comes to alcohol
use. By talking often, you can keep the lines of communication open and make
the right choice an easier option when kids are in risky situations.
·
Hold your
boundaries. This is important because
kids need to understand there are consequences to every choice. It’s safer for
them to learn that with someone they trust. Keep your boundaries clear and be
firm with them. However, always allow them the chance to explain their choices
to help them prepare for the next time.
·
Stay calm and
focus on guidance. Don’t get
defensive! Remember, our job is to better guide them when it comes to choices
involving alcohol. We’re not going to always be there when the choices are
presented so giving them tools to make a good choice is essential. As you focus
on guidance, remind them how assertiveness, strength, and confidence are
excellent leadership qualities that are important to have when choices are
presented.
·
Listen! Don’t be judgmental. Keep the focus on connection in
order to continue to build trust. Most often, we all just want someone to hear
what we’re saying. If appropriate, make sure to slip in an “I love you” or a
“You’re important to me” and a “Thanks for trusting me enough to tell me this”.
You can also use this time to build self-esteem by acknowledging their
feelings.
·
Be accessible. Make time to focus on the conversation – especially
when kids approach you. Always do your best to be there for them, even during a
crisis.
·
Talk about
healthy coping mechanisms. We know
that most people use alcohol as a coping mechanism. Offer healthy options like
exercise, hobbies, taking a nap, or self-care as better options. End the stigma
of asking for help!
Here are three great websites that can
help to guide you in conversations, provide tools to help you recognize when
kids are using substances, and some do’s and don’ts.
·
The first is the
SAMHSA website. They have a great resource called “Talk. They Hear You”. You
may have seen some advertisements (billboards) with this slogan. Visit www.samhsa.com .
·
A second resource
is the University of Rochester’s website. Their site gives pointers on guiding
conversations and some signs that the kids in your life may be using
substances. Visit www.urmc.rochester.edu .
·
The third resource is from Vertava Health. Their site gives you some do’s
and don’ts when it comes to talking to kids about substance use. Visit www.vertavahealthtexas.com .
I hope this information helps when it comes to talking to the kids in your lives about alcohol. Thanks for helping to lead prevention efforts at home, work, church, and out in the community!
Community Resources
The Best You & SAFE Coalitions (319)
293-2579
ADDS (319)
524-4397
Sieda Community Action (641)
682-8741
Counseling Associates (319)
524-0510
Young House Family Services (319)
524-2386
R & R Counseling Solutions (319)
293-3635
Quitline Iowa (800)
784-8669
Your Life Iowa.org (855)
581-8111
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